FAO: David Thomas - Answerrs to your questions

Why should anyone believe in anyone who does not believe in God? 

They have no faith in their creator. Why should you have faith in them? Who do they worship? How do they decide what is right and wrong? How do they decide what is decent and indecent?

David Thomas, North Wales, 29/09/2010 16:47 


Red Ed: I don't do God, I don't even believe in Him

1. They have unequivocal evidence of the person they believe in existing.
2. Faith does not always need to be dependent on anything.
3. Some people do not feel the need to worship.
4. Some people just seem to be able to make decisions like that (although their view might differ to yours).
5. See 4

Things I'm reminded of when I see Ed Miliband's face

• Nien Nunb
• A 90s troll doll
• The lovechild of Amy Winehouse and Blakey from On The Buses
• Beaker from The Muppets
• A frog that having been released from a life of captivity has just reached the edge of a motorway.

The candidates aiming to become leader of the Labour party after Gordon Brown by the size of their constituency majority (percent of turnout at 2010 general election)

Click here to see more exciting Famous Fives graphs

The bands that appeared live at Live Aid that I have never heard of

• Bernard Watson
• The Hooters
• Rick Springfield
• Kenny Loggins
• The Power Station

Things that Liberal Democrats are obliged to say in every interview they give

• Vince Cable
• Let the people decide
• We opposed the war
• We have never changed our position
• We are a party of change

Years in which there has been a UK hung parliament over the last 100 years showing the age in that year of the leader of the party that got the most votes

Click here to see more exciting Famous Fives graphs

Memories of years when I voted in General Elections - 2005

• Event - 7/7 - Fuck
• Film - War of the Worlds - FAO: Tom Cruise - you'll never win an Oscar
• Song - Is this the Way to Amarillo? (Tony Christie featuring Peter Kaye) - The song that spawned a thousand murderous intentions
• Sport - England winning the Ashes - surely some mistake
• Personal - 7/7 - Fuck

Click here for 1997

Click here for 2001

Memories of years when I voted in General Elections - 2001

• Event - 9/11 - Fuck
• Film - Lord of the Rings - The Fellowship of the Rings - never has a film hurt my arse more
• Song - It Wasn't Me (Shaggy) - but it was though wasn't it, Shaggy. You bastard.
• Sport - Bayern Munich beating Valencia in the Champions League final - a rubbish year for sport summed up by one of the dullest soccer games ever played
• Personal - Finally finishing in full time education - my relief was only surpassed by that of my parents 

Click here for 1997

Click here for 2005

Memories of years when I voted in General Elections - 1997

• Event - Princess Diana dying - We thought the world would never be the same again. Turns out it was.
• Film - Spice World - The Movie - thrillingly terrible
• Song - Barbie Girl (Aqua) - a grower, like cancer
• Sport - Mike Tyson eating Evander Holyfield's ear - we never saw that coming
• Personal - Holiday in Tenerife - a once in a lifetime experience. Thankfully.

Click here for 2001

Click here for 2005

Things to remember when going to vote in the General Election

Source: Simon Cowell's Vision for a New Britain

• What suits Simon Cowell or any other celebrity does not necessarily suit you (unless you are Simon Cowell or any other celebrity).
• Anyone who tells you it is about voting for your local MP is a liar. You are voting for the political party.
• A "protest vote" for the BNP just means you are a racist in denial.
• You are supposed to vote for the party you believe will best represent you, not the party you think will win.
• If you vote for the wrong party all your friends will shun you and dogs will piss on your feet.

Conclusions that can be drawn from the Prime Ministerial debates

Source: Leaders' debates: they're as British as X-Factor

• The Conservatives don't want to go into detail on their policies
• The Labour party are not sure how to approach this election
• The Liberal Democrats are pinning all their hopes on being different
• The media are going to interpret everything according to their own bias
• We have learnt absolutely nothing new

Things Gordon Brown would be sensible not to say during the election campaign

Source: Brown's insensitive "bigot" remark could be Labour Party's final undoing

• "Anyone but England" (on who he wants to win the World Cup)
• "Let them eat cake"
• "Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry"
• "Lower your flags and march straight back to England, stopping at every home you pass by to beg forgiveness for a hundred years of theft, rape, and murder. Do that and your men shall live. Do it not, and every one of you will die today." 
• "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator"

Ways Greece can sort out its debt crisis

Source: Greece bans short-selling as panic spreads

• Adopt the Roman alphabet and save a fortune on custom keyboards.
• Forget philosophy, nobody wants to buy thoughts, and get some celebrity chefs to promote Greek food.
• Clear all the ruins and put up some nice efficient office blocks.
• If you must keep the old stuff then stop having just one city, build a commercial hub and leave Athens for the tourists.
• Instigate a tax system based on the number of points an individual's surname will get in Scrabble. And then enforce it.

Advice to Gordon Brown on how to come out best at the next leadership debate.

Source: Britain's Brown plays offense but gains no ground

• No jokes - ever
• Stop looking like a pensioner at a rave and give the impression you want to be there
• Fireworks every time you finish making a key point
• Invent a time machine (preferably based on either a DeLorean or old police box), use it to correct all the mistakes the Labour government has made, then reappear in the time machine on stage at the start of the debate with dry ice billowing up around you. And wear a big cloak.
• Stop talking about change - it's an admission you got it wrong in the first place - and focus on the government's achievements.

Things Belgians are set to ban on the basis that it prevents the police from identifying individuals

Source: Belgium lawmakers set to ban Islamic burqa Thursday

• The bride's veil at a wedding
• Balaclavas
• Pseudonyms on internet message boards
• Out of focus photography
• Superheroes

FAO: Nick, UK - Reasons why you should have taken part in the Prime Ministerial debate

"No wonder Nick Clog doesn't want Trident threatening Russia, his great great grandfather was a Russian nobleman. I lost count of how many times he mentioned Trident. His Mum's Dutch and his wife's Spanish. He speaks five languages, which is very impressive, and was an MEP. I can tell he's a true Brit! Westminster and Cambridge, very much a man of the people. I'd read the article in Time magazine about him to see what he thinks of the electorate..."

Tories turn fire on 'eccentric' Lib Dems after 'Obama-like Clegg' turns election campaign
16/4/2010 11:36

• You have the gift of humour - we would be laughing wildly at your satirical names. Others you could try are Prick Smeg, Boredom Clown and Gayvid Cumeron. 
• You are progressive and relevant - we should all judge people by what their family was four generations ago. 
• You are fully up to date on all the issues - nobody else realises we are still very much in the grip of the Cold War.
• You are a man of the people - it is better to have people that can't count in government than people who can speak 5 languages. 
• You are a master of spin - you cleverly do not give away your flaws by ending comments early rather than finishing them with "...but unfortunately I can't read".

See more Forum Replies here

Ways to improve voter turnout at the general election

Source: Facebook enlisted to boost student vote

• Have polling stations in pubs
• Give everyone that votes two hours paid holiday to do so.
• Make it a fun interactive experience by casting your vote using a Nintendo Wii
• Have news websites constantly updated with WAGS and other minor celebrities voting.
• Have political parties offering genuine choice and clear, believable explanations of the policies they will pursue that engages the public and makes them care about who is in power

Things that the government should thinking about banning for being linked to 2 or more people to die this week

Source: Ban legal drug after deaths says head teacher

• Alcohol
• Cars
• Baths
• War
• Life saving operations

Things that are lower now than they were in 1895

Source: Marriage plunges to lowest level since 1895

• The number of people with smallpox
• The popularity of naming your baby Clarence
• The number of passenger pigeons in the United States
• The depths that submarines can reach
• The number of people being convicted of sodomy and gross indecency in England.

Things that are, on average, wider now than they have ever been

Source: Gap between rich and poor 'at its widest since the war'

• Waistlines
• Motorways
• Television screens
• Choice
• The chasm that exists between your heart and mine