Common opening statements people use when calling radio phone-ins that let you know immediately the caller is going to be a twat

• "As I was just saying to your researcher...."
• "Do you remember when I called you 4 months ago about this..."
• "This is the funniest example of ......"
• "I've got 4 points I want to make....."
• "I've not been listening to the earlier calls but....."